gratitude
October 2008 
Gratitude
Posted on Jun 22nd, 2007
by 
tajmahalo
tajmahalo
Yesterday I was driving my car north on the freeway from Hot Yoga to the Farmers Market. I passed a car with a bumper sticker which read "What are you grateful for?" I smiled. Maybe the gratitude movement would be more fun than the truth movement. Truth has a more yang feel to it than gratitude which could be considered the height of receptivity as I explain in my book The Seven Natural Laws of Love. Hmm, maybe I could try being grateful for the truth. In fact, I AM inevitably grateful for the truth, even when the truth turns out to be not what I wanted.
Getting back to the bumper sticker, it brought to mind an old friend and former lover. On his last birthday he had sent out an email quoting from a new book suggesting that it would serve us well to focus on what is going right instead of what is going wrong. I impulsively reached for my cell phone and clicked his name in the address book. He answered the phone from about 3000 miles away, an every day miracle I often forget to be grateful for. I told him I'd just seen this "What are you grateful for?" bumper sticker and it had make me think of him.
"That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me," he said warmly and went on for several minutes about how much he appreciated my thought. After a while I realized that he was probably thinking that I meant I was grateful for him in my life, which was true, but not exactly what I'd been thinking. I was struck by how receptive he was to being valued. Not an ounce of resistance or mistrust. The gratitude I'd expressed was returned 100 fold. We both felt warm and soft and proceeded to have a deep exchange, sharing our personal triumphs and challenges. Much more satisfying than some of our previous conversations!
Easy. And I wasn't even trying.
Getting back to the bumper sticker, it brought to mind an old friend and former lover. On his last birthday he had sent out an email quoting from a new book suggesting that it would serve us well to focus on what is going right instead of what is going wrong. I impulsively reached for my cell phone and clicked his name in the address book. He answered the phone from about 3000 miles away, an every day miracle I often forget to be grateful for. I told him I'd just seen this "What are you grateful for?" bumper sticker and it had make me think of him.
"That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me," he said warmly and went on for several minutes about how much he appreciated my thought. After a while I realized that he was probably thinking that I meant I was grateful for him in my life, which was true, but not exactly what I'd been thinking. I was struck by how receptive he was to being valued. Not an ounce of resistance or mistrust. The gratitude I'd expressed was returned 100 fold. We both felt warm and soft and proceeded to have a deep exchange, sharing our personal triumphs and challenges. Much more satisfying than some of our previous conversations!
Easy. And I wasn't even trying.
Access: Public
If only more people could see the benefit of doing the same thing…think of the possibilities! We need to be grateful at all times, it is such a blessing to be alive.
Namaste
Aley
I was struck by how receptive he was to being valued. Not an ounce of resistance or mistrust. The gratitude I'd expressed was returned 100 fold—
This is a beautiful reminder, Taj. I think it is at least 99 percent true, even though we often encounter people who resist and deflect, each of us is STARVING for that appreciation. And most of the time, we soften, open, give back and it amplifies. The cosmos benefits, 2 people at a time.
You were writing about the miracle of having a conversation 3000 miles away, and what a great miracle that is. Those little things we take for granted so many times, like pens and running water, the dishwasher and grocerystores on every counter, is what at least occasionally should remember to thank for, no matter what your religious background is.
Thank you for that post.
Now I am going to email my grandmother half way around the world, and really learn to appreciate the internet.
This happened to me yesterday. I called a very good Swedish friend I hadn't seen or talked to for years. She was bowled over and delighted at my phone call - and finished the call by saying how much she really appreciated me and that she wanted to hug me - could I feel it along the telephone lines? (I really did!)
The rest of the day I had a broad grin on my face and a gentle smiling peace in my cells, even when some “stuff” came up in the evening - it didn't have the “power” to bring me down, I was in blissful contentment.
And all because she thanked me for being me!
Aloha and Mahalo for the Invitation to come play and BE within such light with you all
this particular thread captured my spirit.. as I read' what am I grateful for'…
suddenly I was aware how quickly I 'can allow myself to forget the simple things that I can be grateful for.. filled with grace for what IS… In the moment…
like the person who came over for an appt , as we discussed different things I wanted to hire him to do here are my home.. he was also sharing his appreciation for some things he was 'seeing ' in and around my home;.. suddenly reminding me.. how we can be so easily touched by anothers .. thoughts , ideas, senses, energy, sharings.. how sweet…
how easily I may forget at times.. and how simply divine and deliciously 'easy' it all IS .. how wonderful to read the sharings here .. a gentle reminder of the Blessings so warm
Mahalo
Ondrea'
You are very welcome Ondrea! I've been thinking lately about entitlement, which is almost the polar opposite of gratitude. I notice how now that I've broken my leg, I tend to feel entitled to special treatment. It's humbling but true. For a while I was taking it personally when special treatment was not forthcoming. Now I just move on. Not that special treatment is necessarily inappropriate - this is why handicap parking and handicap access exists, to equalize the playing field. It is quite literally survival to ask to cut to the front of the check out line at the supermarket when I just can't stand up any longer. And while I am grateful for the kindness of strangers, I find myself judging those who begrudge me a small sacrifice on their part so that I can manage to do what I need to do. I am grateful to the health care providers like my physical therapist who really tries to see what I need and gives me extra time when her next appointment cancels, and I resent those who are just putting in time, self absorbed, not caring what effect they are having. Perhaps my gratitude and sense of entitlement cancel each other out. Can I find a way to feel grateful for a “no” when I want a “yes”?