Hi Everyone!

This has been one of the most transformational months in my life! So much has happened I hardly know where to start. First of all, Cinnamon Sky has done an amazing job of redesigning my www.lovewithoutlimits.com website with support from my webhosts, Will and Sue Jones. More additions are in the works, one of which will allow people to connect with each other, so check it out and let me know what you think. The upgrade was just in time for an ABC news story which quoted me and my book. ABC news got interested because Gay Talese, now in his 70’s and author of many books including Thy Neighbor’s Wife published the second volume of his memoirs which talked about his own non-traditional 50 year marriage. Click these links if you want the details:
http://abcnews.go.com/US/LifeStages/story?id=3464575&page=1
http://abcnews.go.com/US/LifeStages/comments?type=story&id=3464575.

People have been suggesting for years that I write my memoirs but I haven’t really had much juice for that project, partly because the past, however colorful and exciting it may have been, is past. And while I might be just as good a writer, I am no where near as famous as Gay Talese. Also because in spite of rave reviews from those who have read it, The Seven Natural Laws of Love hasn’t sold that well. If half the people who bought Love Without Limits bought the Seven Natural Laws, I’d be in my 3rd or 4th printing and I haven’t even sold out the first run. So I hesitate to invest more time and energy in another book. Having said that, I have been feeling inspired to start working on a novel about death which is not a subject I have any firsthand knowledge of, so I will have to do some research. Fortunately I like to research new topics! And I hear it’s good for your brain too.

With all the rocking and rolling on the planet these days, and all the aging Baby Boomers, I figure there’s going to be a lot of people dying in the near future. A hurricane narrowly missed Hawaii the other day, then a series of big earthquakes in Peru generated a tsunami warning. You’ve undoubtedly been hearing about all the chaos in the financial markets.

We’ve also had a few small earthquakes here in Hawaii, just a little shaking up, no damage, but on a personal level, the big deal for me is that I fell and broke my leg. The middle right tibia and top right fibula in case you want to visualize quick and easy healing. I’ve never broken a bone before in my life and I was alone on the Farm when it happened so it was a little scary. At the same time, it has been an amazing catalyst for the breaking open of my own heart.

I am so grateful for all the love and support and much needed help I’ve been receiving and so grateful I’ve been able to just surrender to the whole situation. Everything I’ve needed has magically shown up. It’s been an amazing opportunity to lie back and receive and to slow down enough to appreciate all the incredible beauty around me even more deeply. I admit I was disappointed that I won’t be able to swim miles every day, let alone get in the ocean for many months, and I won’t be able to do much work on the Farm. I was also sad I won’t be able to get back to California when I planned to spend more time with my daughter before she leaves for college, but in a funny way, this broken leg has created more clarity in my life as it tells me I need to return to California for a few months and base there until my leg is healed.

At this time, I am still intending to offer the Women’s Healing Retreat Oct 13-20, perhaps with an apprentice to help with the snorkeling and dolphin activities. The retreat is limited to eight lucky women, who want to do some deep healing of body and soul, to pamper themselves and each other with massage and by making their own natural spa products and eating healthy, natural, local foods. If you want to attend, register now as I need your support to keep this retreat on track! Click on this link to sign up. http://www.sevenlawsoflove.com/store/default.asp. You can also order books and ebooks there.

I also want to offer you the following link to a podcast of an interview with me on sexual healing. It’s free and available to listen to anytime:
http://www.personallifemedia.com/podcasts/tantra-kama-sutra/episode011-deborah-anapol-sexual-healing.html

In the midst of all this intensity, I also recommend this short inspirational feel good video you can view by clicking this link: http://theshiftmovie.com/index2.html

There are still some rental openings at Lokahi Farm in September, October, and November if you’d like to enjoy a tropical vacation in the Garden of Eden. I don’t know if I will be at Lokahi Farm beyond December of this year, so if you’ve been putting off a visit, get it on your calendar now! If you could use some support with your own changes I have lots of time open for phone sessions now as I rest my leg. You can reach me at taj@lovewithoutlimits.com or at 415.507.1739.

Until then, may your heart be open, may your eyes see nothing but beauty and may you hear the wisdom of the ancestors.

Aloha,
Deborah Taj Anapol

INTERVIEW WITH DR. DEBORAH TAJ ANAPOL  AUGUST 24, 2007

 

 

Q1- Dr. D,, in your article 'What Is Sexual Healing?' you boldly introduce the subject of integrating the erotic into our health care system. While I think it's a fabulous idea, given the degree of prevalent touch phobia people are entrapped by, the truth is,  the existing (American) health care system has not even seen fit to include vitamins and food supplements as covered expenses in the vaste majority of health care plans. What might be a practical way to bridge the gap to a futuristic, sexually- compassionate health care model, as you and other visionaries see it?

 

I think that massage therapy, physical therapy, acupuncture, midwifery and prenatal education, Reichian based bodywork, or chiropractic care are more closely related to the type of sexual healing that I’m talking about than the nutritutional options that you mentioned. Scientific research has shown that all of these hands-on therapies have therapeutic value and many insurance plans cover at least some of these modalities.

 

While ethical concerns and religious lobbies definitely influence our health care policies, financial issues and historical precedents are also important. In the Victorian era, women sought relief from “hysteria” from physicians who manually brought them to orgasm, sometimes with the aid of primitive vibrators. The pharmaceutical companies don’t want their patented medicines replaced by readily available, non-prescription herbs, but skillful and ethical use of erotic energy for healing would create financially and personally rewarding employment opportunities for many. The professions I mentioned above are already beginning to bridge the gap, as are a number of new professional organizations for sexual healers.

 

Q2-  In your article 'Erotic Spirituality' you say that human beings have 'a deep longing for the (re)union of sex and spirit. My concern is that the word 'reunion' hints at a fall- redemptionist perspective (although not, in your version, a horrid sin- based one). From Church at Paronomasian perspective, ANY sort of fall- redeptionism is problematic inasmuch as it wittingly or unwittingly posits life as the fixing of a broken cup or the restoration of a lost estate. Can you comment, please?

 

Perhaps we could simply say that people have a memory – whether you want to call it genetic memory, cellular memory, mythology, or the collective unconscious - of a time when there was no mental, dualistic separation between sex and spirit. We know this undivided state in our bones, we carry it in our blood, and all that is necessary is to drop the cultural conditioning which tells us otherwise.

 

Q3- Speaking solely in terms of physiology, Tantric Taoist traditions largely consider sex between women entirely normal, but not between men, the point being, male sperm is competitive. Assuming you agree with this, how important do you consider physiological normalcy in the quest for a vision of  comprehensive communal world peace?

 

In my opinion, this assumption about the physiological basis for male homophobia comes out of a patriarchal tradition which has painstakingly destroyed all traditional teachings which preceded them. My gut tells me that just as some women are not physiologically compatible with some men (think about the rH blood factor, pheromones, genetically carried diseases), similar factors, both biological and psychological, hold true within the genders. Peace – whether it be within the family, the community, or the world at large – requires a certain level of knowledge and wisdom about finding compatible, complimentary, joyful, and appropriate roles for all people. When all people, all gifts, and all challenges are honored and accepted, true synergy is possible.

 

I see that one of the biggest obstacles we face to world peace is the projection of our shadow, or unacceptable parts of self, onto others and then demonizing and attempting to eradicate the “other.” 

 

Q4- Dr. D, you've argued that the denial of pleasure (especially sexual pleasure) has been the primary tool used by patriarchy to maintain control. While I agree that patriarchal social conditioning has, quite unfortunately, prevented millions of women from identifying themselves as naturally poly (and bi), it would seem that, under the infuence of  limbic brain jealousy and the imagined 'need' for  matrilineal security, many women would continue having serious problems with sexual freedom, even in the  blessed absence of patriarchy. Can you comment, please?

 

Among women who have freed themselves from their conditioning, I have not observed any “serious problems” with sexual freedom. Sexual freedom implies the right to choose freely where, when, and with whom to engage sexually. This does not equate to a perpetually open door! A woman who is truly free may prefer to be with one partner for a period of time. Or she may choose to share her beloved(s) with another. Or she may prefer that her beloved(s) make their own choices. This kind of freedom is the fruit of deep spiritual and psychological inquiry and at this point in time, it is a small percentage of both men and women who have attained it. But I have seen it with my own eyes and felt it with my own heart and know that it exists.

 

Q5- What do you believe is the kindest, most positive thing we can collectively do as human beings  to help assure a less dangerous, more benign planetary future?

 

The next generation is our hope for the future. Giving our best not only to our own biological offspring, but to all children on the planet, is the most positive action we can take! This means making it a priority to provide the best possible nutrition, unconditional love, health care, and education (and I do mean education, not training, but true teaching in how to be a conscious, empathic, considerate, sexual and clear human being to every child on the planet. This means providing education to parents, providing mentors and supportive “extended family” to those who don’t have this, providing parents tools and opportunities to have fulfilling lives of their own so that they don’t have to live through their children, and implementing social policies that truly support healthy family life.

 

There is a lot of controversy on the planet about the best way to solve environmental, political, and economic problems, but we all know how to raise healthy children! It just requires the willingness to say “this is our priority as a species!” As the native Americans said – we must consider the effects of our actions not just for ourselves, but for seven generations.

 

Deborah Taj Anapol, Ph.D.

www.lovewithoutlimits.com

415.507.1739