Surrendering to the River of Love

When I first came to California in my teens I was awestruck by the clear blue sky. The blazing intensity of a sun unimpeded by clouds or haze was a delightful new experience.  The recent epidemic of forest fires burning out of control all across the state and filling the air hundreds of miles away with smoke thick enough to irritate the eyes and lungs of millions of people, not to mention transmuting the light of the sun into a dull orange glow was also a new experience. Living in the shadow of smokey skies for a seemingly endless week felt more ominous than delightful. Particularly since it was a week I spent organizing, sorting, and packing, under a deadline, as I struggled to somehow intuit, guess, remember, or imagine what I would need for at least six months in unknown territory. In the past, this would have been a perfect set up for me to lose my center. I am so grateful for the gift of sailing through this experience with nothing more troubling than an aching body. And even that has been an opening to receive as I’ve been gifted with four wonderful and different bodywork sessions in the days that followed.

 Now that I’ve hit the road, or more accurately the skies, I have a wonderful sense of freedom. The last time I really did not know where I would be going and what I would be doing far into the future was when I was seventeen years old and had just graduated from high school. I knew I had a college dorm room in the heart of New York City waiting for me in the Fall, but I didn’t know if I wanted to go there. I knew I could always land at my parents’ home, and I did know I didn’t want to go there. With the whole summer, and in fact my whole life, stretching out ahead of me I felt the excitement of unimagined adventures. I set out with my army surplus back pack and sleeping bag and $50 stashed in a pocket in case of emergency. I intended to live by my wits and allow myself to be guided toward the greatest opportunities for self awareness. Life was much simpler in those days. No home computers, no internet, no cell phones, no credit cards, no responsibilities.

 It was the summer of 1969, and I took full advantage of the chance to explore psychedelics, sex, synchronicity, and rock and roll. A lover gave me a copy of Pilgrim’s Progress. I witnessed (on someone else’s TV) a man walking on the moon. I discovered chakras, opened my heart for the first time, became a seasoned hitch hiker and found myself in the midst of what would soon become the world famous Woodstock Music Festival. Everything I needed was provided and even potential dangers were transformed into empowering initiations.

 Now, with a large chunk of my life stretching out behind me, I’m beginning a new cycle with no clue where it will lead. All of my efforts to create or maintain some sense of control or security about the future have been reduced to knowing that the only real protection is in following my inner voice and surrendering the deep rooted desire to know how it will unfold. In other words, Existence is demanding that I volunteer to trust in Life.

 I’m being encouraged in small ways. For example, I realized as I was boarding the plane for Denver last week that I’d lost a credit card somewhere in the airport. By the time my plane landed two hours later there was a message from my credit card company that a “Good Samaritan” had found my card. I called the number the Visa rep gave me and left a message thanking him and asking him to mail me my card. When the Good Samaritan called back he got my voicemail with a message pointing people to my website, and was very intrigued. I don’t know where this story will end, but at minimum it’s a clear demonstration that the universe is a friendly place which supports me even when my vigilance fails. Maybe even especially when my vigilance fails.

 I feel very blessed to have had so many opportunities lately to know that support is always present and available even when it appears I have made a mistake. I’m also excited by the way my work with people is evolving and hope many of you will accept my invitation to join me at an upcoming event.

  For phone coaching sessions, I am available by phone at 415.507.1739 until July 19 and then by Skype ONLY in Asia until late September so if you’d like to take a leap into greater integration for yourself or your relationships, email me at taj@lovewithoutlimits.com or phone my Skype number at 415.578.3373 or better yet download Skype yourself and Skype me at Deborah.anapol.

 Aloha ia o'koa pa'ulo. When we meet in love, we shall be whole!

 Much love to you all,

Deborah Taj Anapol