My journey back from India took two and a half days for my body, and about another week for my mind. In a way it seems my spirit remains at Arunachala where I instantly felt I’d come home. The Hindu scriptures tell us that the “hill” in southern India called Arunachala is the earthly manifestation of Shiva, the original Shivalinga and site of an ancient – and still active - Shiva temple. Legend says that anyone living within 30 miles of Arunachala is certain to attain Union with the Divine. The scientists say it’s some of the oldest land on the planet. Ganesha, the nephew of Sri Ramana Maharshi, who spent most of his life at Arunachala, says simply that “the top of Arunachala is not of this world.” My own experience is that Arunachala acts like a giant magnetic that can align human energies and literally pulls one into the core. I could indeed sense its field from a distance of many miles.

This temple town attracts tens of thousands of Hindu pilgrims and orange robed Shaivite sadhus along with Ramana Maharshi devotees from all over the world, many of whom are teachers and satsang leaders in their own right, creating a richly diverse spiritual tapestry, which peaks at the December Full Moon festival called Deepam. I’m so grateful to have taken part in this festival and also to have visited many other sacred sites throughout India. Apart from Arunachala, my favorite place was the Tantric temples of Khajuraho, which are awesome works of art and still hold a powerful energy although they are no longer in use. If some or all of what I’m talking about is strange to you, no worries. Feel free to ask, or simply read on for some less esoteric material. I hope to offer some groups in India in 2010, so if you too would like to experience a culture in which spirituality still comes before materialism, let me know of your interest.

More immediately, I plan to be in Hawaii until May 23 – 30 when I return to Tulum, Mexico, another spiritually powerful place, long sacred to the Mayans, for our Tenth Anniversary Retreat. I know some of you are wanting to come but finding it hard to commit in this uncertain economy. Several people I know have lost their life savings in recent months, and many others are fearful about their futures. It appears to me that we will simply have to start finding our security somewhere other than Wall Street!

If spending money on this retreat means that you won’t be able to pay your rent or your mortgage, or other essentials, please don’t come. But if you want to participate with kindred spirits in this Seven Chakra Gathering whose purpose is to initiate a new way of being which has the potential to inspire creative, joyful, and practical solutions to the challenges we are facing on Planet Earth these days, please do respond to this invitation! You can register online now at www.sevenlawsoflove.com. For me, I feel called both to complete the work I’ve been doing for many years in sexual healing and conscious relating, and to begin a new and truly wholistic manifestation which incorporates everything I’ve done so far, and takes it to the next level.

Honestly, I’m increasingly troubled by much of what I see going on in both the sacred sexuality and polyamory communities these days. While it’s heartening on the one hand to see how these movements have grown in the last decade, and while there are many skilled and talented individuals making important contributions, there’s an unfortunate tendency to lose sight of the larger picture of integrating sexuality into life as a whole and to take actions which tend to polarize people into opposing camps.

For example, a man who’s admired as a leader in both these communities is about to release a documentary film about his work. Many people, particularly those working as sexual healers, are concerned that his inclusion of material concerning a client’s perception that she was raped and the portrayal of blurred boundaries between his professional and personal relationships, will create an unnecessarily controversial image of sexual healing. While it’s certainly very courageous of him to reveal so much of who he is, I doubt that bringing rape and dating clients into a public conversation on sexual healing will serve him, or his community.

The reality is that for the general public, which is the intended audience for this film as I understand it, the most conservative possible presentation of hands on sexual healing is a powerful button pusher. And when people’s buttons are pushed they do not process information very well. Only a few years back I was fielding questions on radio talk shows from listeners who couldn’t distinguish between polyamory and prostitution. In their minds both meant slut, sluts were bad and wrong, and nothing more need be said. It’s useless to talk to such people about the concept of an “ethical slut,” they simply aren’t open to hearing it. Likewise, when sexual healing, rape, and morphing clients and lovers are mixed together, people are very likely to come away with the conviction that sexual healing is dangerous, immoral, and should certainly be illegal.

If harsh actions against sexual healers are what is needed to improve the quality and safety of care being offered, then I surrender to that. But I would much rather see this initiative come from within the community. As I’ve said before in a different context, it’s always better to volunteer.

Already, I see far too many unconscious abuses of power and lapses of integrity in many well meaning but inadequately educated practitioners to feel comfortable being associated with a movement that I helped to create. We all make mistakes, and I’ve certainly made more than my share. That’s how I’ve learned much what I know. But when we don’t recognize our mistakes, they are unlikely to teach us anything. While I am a long time advocate of hands-on, body centered healing, I find myself wondering whether there is more harm than good being done in the name of sexual healing. Sometimes it seems that polyamory has become an excuse for doing whatever you want, whenever you want, regardless of the impact on others, or worse yet another tool for manipulation. And sexual healing has become a way to justify sex which falls outside of whatever belief system you hold about restricting sexual expression. I know there are many heartful, compassionate, and committed explorers out here on the frontiers of love, sex, and intimacy, but I feel we need to be more aware of the potential for harm when we venture beyond consensus reality without the wise counsel of mentors and elders.

What do you think??? Please share your thoughts and help co-create some dialogue on these important matter!

On a deeper level, I find myself wondering how it is that so many people have forgotten, or perhaps never knew in the first place, that the Sexual Revolution of the 60’s and 70’s held an intention for Liberation – not just sexual freedom as an end in itself, but as a means to spiritual liberation. It’s always tricky to speak of Spiritual Liberation, because of the tendency our minds have to hijack these lofty words and make them into another bogus mental concept or another commodity to be sold to the highest bidder. Perhaps it’s better to say that the slogan, “Make Love, Not War,” has yet to be realized. It seems the “making love” part has been much more successful than the “not war” part. Or maybe the majority of people are still “having sex” instead of “making love.” But even love, and especially “free love” have been radically misunderstood by many. Please join me in holding space for deep transformation and world peace instead of more of the same old, same old in the ways we live and love and heal together!

I’m hopeful that we’re on the cusp of yet another wave of development in human life. If enough of us recognize that now is the time to come home to who we really are, just maybe the overall consciousness of humanity could evolve in amazing ways. And That is what the world needs now! I totally support everyone’s efforts to love and heal themselves, and by extension to love and heal others, and I know that this happens most naturally and effectively when we humbly surround ourselves with others who are willing and able to point out our blind spots while loving us unconditionally.

Aloha ia o'koa pa'ulo. When we meet in love, we shall be whole!

Much love to you all,
Deborah Taj Anapol

Reclaiming our sexual power is often the start of transformation, but it is only the start! As Osho put it, “Sex is only the beginning, but if you miss the beginning, you also miss the ending.” I visited the Osho Ashram, AKA the Osho Resort, on my trip to India in December and while it is very beautiful and extraordinarily clean, especially for India, it seems to have lost its transformational edge.

 

An AIDS test is required for admission to the resort, but according to the few old time Sanyassins still hanging around, there is much less sexual activity going on than in the old days.

 Some of you may be familiar with the work of Dr. Wilheim Reich, a brilliant protégé of Sigmund Freud and major architect of the Sexual Revolution, whose work is the basis for Jack Painter’s Pelvic Heart Integration work, as well as most of mind/body therapies in use today. Most people have forgotten that Reich’s theories and practices for enhancing orgasmic potency and sexual freedom were PART of a larger vision for returning humankind to a more natural state. Like Osho, he believed that if the energies wasted in repressing sexual desire were freed up and if we could unravel the twists in personality and society whose purpose is to repress sexuality, then our inherent creativity and resources could be directed toward designing a better world. While Reich’s theories have not yet been the subject of scientific research, (and it occurs to me that maybe Reich was just plain wrong since despite the increases in sexual freedom in the last fifty years, Utopia has not arrived and greed and violence continue unabated) if Reich is correct, those of you who’ve been working on your own sexual liberation for years now, should be prime candidates for leading the next wave of change. And that wave of change bears little ressemblance to what I see going on in the sex positive world. If this is a conversation that interests you, please join me in continuing it here! It is the subject of one of the books I’m eager to write.

Much Love and Aloha,
Deborah Taj Anapol