Life and Death

     Many people mistakenly believe there are no seasons in Hawaii. If you're visiting for a short time, especially from some place where the winters are freezing cold, it's easy to be misled. Having been blessed to spend an entire year here for the first time since I started making this transition over four years ago, the more subtle changes announce themselves loud and clear. The very noticeable transition from early to late Fall right at the end of October - the midpoint between the Equinox and the Solstice - that I knew so well from decades in the San Francisco Bay area happens here too. Suddenly I need a T Shirt in the early morning and the sun doesn't rise quite so early. Even without the artificial jolt from the end of daylight savings time, my body starts getting ready to hibernate. Pumpkins and sweet potatoes ripen and the ocean gets cooler. Taro harvest is here.

    The coffee is ripening too, but very slowly. Usually the harvest has peaked by now, but this year it's just beginning. I've been grinding my freshly roasted morning coffee with a few dried cacao (raw chocolate) beans - voila, healthy, unsweetened mocha! I use a French-press so some of the amazing anti-oxidants, minerals, and "love chemicals" like PEA are released as the brew steeps. I look forward to this morning ritual, and so do my cats Tillie and Frances, who purr and curl up with me in the anti-gravity chairs on the lanai as I sip from my big burgundy colored mug and look out at the coconut palms and green jade vine. 
     My cats Tillie and Frances are named for my grandmothers, invoking their presence daily, and not just on this annual Day of the Dead. The Hawaiians, along with many Pacific Islanders and indigenous peoples consider their ancestors or ‘aumakua to be their personal link to the Divine. Contacting those who have "changed address" and passed over to the other side is said to be easiest now and in the beginning of May, midway between the Spring Equinox and Summer Solstice. You don't need to believe this to give it a try. Ask your ancestors for messages to guide you and protect you and just see what happens!

        Despite my body's wish to hibernate, it's pedal to the metal for me these days as the deadline for my new book is only a little over a month away. I'm really excited about this book, especially the global/international/21^st Century parts. Look for it or special order June 2010!

    My book research led me to re-read Dolores LaChapelle's wonderful book Sacred Land, Sacred Sex: Rapture of the Deep. If you want to understand lots of important things about life, read this book! I visited Dolores at her mountain cabin in Silverton, Colorado about ten years ago after teaching a Tantra seminar in Durango. She must have been about 75 at the time, still skiing and living all alone up in her beloved Rocky Mountains. As she wrote in Sacred Land, Sacred Sex, the kind of men she enjoyed relating with were unwilling or unable to live in the remote mining town that was her own sacred place, so she shared Tantric ritual with them when circumstances permitted and the rest of the time enjoyed her solitude. I just learned that Dolores passed over to the other side a couple years ago. She died quickly and mercifully without losing her independence. Definitely an inspiration! I'm making her my adopted ancestor and hoping I can embody her wisdom, grace, and kindness as I walk my own path.

    Walking this path single I' realize that every path has a downside and one of the downsides of being single is occasional loneliness. If I'm going to feel lonely, I much prefer feeling that way when I'm alone and knowing that nothing's wrong, it's just part of the territory. The downside on the partnered journey is fighting which I've found far less tolerable but just as inevitable. I have come across couples who never fight, or even have a conflict, but they usually end up silently hating each other. The upside of single is freedom to do whatever you want whenever you want to. In theory, freedom is also available to partners, but it's rare to find this being lived without compromise and without conflict. The real issue though is not necessarily what is most pleasant, or least challenging, but what helps us awaken and what puts us to sleep? Usually we don't know until we see the result.